The following was our group call in May 2012 with the Men’s Adventure Group. Our guest speaker was Stephen McGhee. The audio for the call is recorded on the link below:
Men’s Adventure Group with Stephen McGhee
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Yesterday, I was surprised to learn that my coach, Stephen McGhee, regularly turns potential clients away. I wondered why he would turn away potential clients who want to work with him. Stephen responded very clearly that he only works with people who have an inspiring vision and are committed to it. He only works with people that he’s excited to work with.
I’ve been trying to crystallize the same experience I’ve been having. When some people speak, I’m not very excited in hearing them speak. I can’t feel THEM in what they are saying. I feel some idea that’s not them or I feel someone else speaking through them. I hear approval seeking, security seeking and money seeking. I hear people trying to prove something or trying to hide something. I know this because I did it for years too.
The people I am excited to work with are those who are INSPIRED by something. They have pure intentions in what they want to create. I can feel THEM in it. They feel like they have a bigger purpose they are meant to give. They are committed to it, not just wishing about it. They have a specific outcome in mind. They are GOING to make it happen. Nothing will get in their way. Hearing them speak excites me.
I also noticed that the clients who get the best results from my coaching are those types of clients who are committed to their vision. They are real. They are authentic. They are motivated by service and contribution. Other clients who didn’t get those results didn’t have an inspired vision, weren’t clear on what they wanted to create, and weren’t committed to creating it either. This is the main distinction I can see between my clients who achieved results and those who didn’t.
I am also making a new commitment as a coach. I am only working with those people from now on that I am excited to work with. I am only working with people who meet the following criteria:
-They are motivated by contribution and service.
-They have a specific vision and project of what they want to create born out of their purpose.
-They are committed to creating their project this year. Their project is a MUST for them.
-I can feel THEM in what they are creating, and I am excited about WHY they are creating what they are creating.
I feel that this is my new responsibility as a coach and leader. I am a catalyst for those who are committed to making a difference in the world. I am a leader for those who are committed to offering their true purpose and what makes them COME ALIVE. I am a coach for those who have CLARITY in what they create.
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I increasingly believe that the primary component of leadership and what causes people to follow you is being a LIVING EXAMPLE of everything you espouse. And to be a leader of men means you must have every room in your house in order, including career, money, finances, relationships, family, emotions, and health.
Last month I began to see just how much my own life was affecting my ability to lead other men. I saw the many areas of my life where I was NOT living up to my own internal standards or integrity for how I should be living. It took courage for me to come face to face with the lies I was telling myself and what I wanted to avoid.
Career
First, with the help of my coach, Stephen McGhee, I saw how much my selfishness was affecting every conversation I had with potential clients. I was pushing them away because they could see I was just trying to get something, sell something, prove something about myself.
I also saw that the reason I didn’t get the consistency of results I wanted to in 2011 was because I wasn’t consistent in my business and the actions I needed to take. I would have good months where I was consistent, and then I would take myself out of action for a few months. No wonder I didn’t achieve what I wanted!
My commitment for 2012 is that no matter my results, no matter the money I earn, that every day I treat my business like a professional and go to work doing the things that matter every day on a consistent basis.
Money
I also saw how much I was worrying about and focused on money. I had seen that my primary driving force in business was to get money instead of to serve. When I saw my selfishness and the effect it had, I felt like I was able to complete with the cycle of selfishness.
Finances
For many years, I had never placed any attention on saving money. Mostly because I felt like I didn’t have enough money to save. But it was all a lack of responsibility on my part. We have now been saving each month for the past five months, and I have felt great.
Family
Here I realized how much I was focused on myself and not my wife or having children. I was only worried about my coaching and increasing my income, and THEN I would worry about other things. But I was shutting out all of life except for my coaching. And I wasn’t taking responsibility for anything in my life except for coaching. Not even supporting the family. Sure, I was earning money and the bills were getting paid. But I avoided the responsibility for it on an energetic level. And my wife could feel it.
Relationship
My wife and I have a great relationship, but the only source of strain was her not trusting that I was HOLDING things, holding our family in my consciousness. I was so wrapped up in coaching and earning money that I didn’t have space in my consciousness for much else. And this concerned her. Nor did I have the space for having children, which we had talked about.
When I saw my selfishness and my focus on money, I saw the contrast into what I had left out of the picture — the rest of life!! Now I am opening up to all of life and taking responsibility energetically for so much more. My wife reports feeling me much deeper. Phew!! But I am still not out of the woods yet. Sure, I have had this change of heart and a new expansion of awareness, but I must press forward and continue with the actions that substantiate my awareness.
Health
I have not been one to exercise regularly hardly ever. I stay active and I am generally healthy, but I haven’t made health a priority. So I decided to hire a trainer that I will start working with this month. I’m excited.
Overall, December felt like a month of cold water being splashed in my face as I finally awoke to what I wasn’t facing. I recognized what my own inner standards were and I made a firm commitment that I would no longer stand for anything less than that. What a difference it has made. I’m still not perfect, and I have a ways to go.
But I noticed I feel SO much more confident, rested and relaxed. I don’t have to worry about money because I can relax in the actions I know I’m taking every day. I’ve opened up to the rest of life. I’m not trying to get anything or prove anything any more. And it’s already starting to show in my business, family and life. I believe these are the first steps to increasing my leadership.
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Today I would like to share my heart. I would like to speak to fellow men. I want to share what I learned in 2011. I have been struggling for years within this inner battle of motivation – money versus purpose. I have always felt I have a greater purpose to serve the world. But I’ve gotten so sidetracked by trying to support a family, earning a living, growing wealth and otherwise worrying or focusing on money.
When I am really honest with myself and I notice what actually gets me up and provides the energy behind a lot of the action I take, I notice that getting money has been at the root of it. I’ve also noticed that whether I get money or not, that it doesn’t change my level of fulfillment. Sure, I may feel relaxed for a moment about money, but I am still in a scarcity mindset and focused on money.
I have known for years that the way to a more fulfilled life, a wealthy life, where I am in the ‘sweet spot,’ is when I live a more purpose-filled life. I’ve been trying to get there, but I’ve been distracted along the way.
A few months ago, I realized just how much my actions driven by money had been affecting those around me. In my business, I saw how almost everyone I had spoken with for two years (hundreds of people) I had been driven by money and it showed itself in those conversations. I saw how I had driven people away from the true service I wanted to provide. I had put a wedge in between me and them.
It was only when I saw the true effect of my actions on the others I wanted to help, that I became complete with my selfish desires and primary motivation of money. I noticed my selfishness. I noticed the part of me that was focused on money. And I committed right then and there to a primary purpose-driven motivation instead.
And I’ve been so rested and relaxed since. I know who I am even deeper than before. I feel authentic. I feel like I’m not trying to get anything any more, or prove anything any more. I feel I deeply desire to be of service.
I am standing up for myself and what I believe in as a man. I’ve drawn a line in the stand for who I am and what I stand for. I believe I must be an example first and foremost in my own life. I believe that the foundation of being a leader in this world requires me to get my own house in order. And I mean every aspect of my life — career and purpose, money, savings, relationships, family and emotional and physical health.
I believe the most important thing is to live up to my OWN internal standards on these things. Society may have standards, but my own internal standards are the guiding force in my life. And not living up to them is what eats away at my integrity and my soul inside.
My commitment for the rest of my life is that I live in integrity, that my actions match my own inner standards that I have set for myself. My commitment is to also invite every man I speak with to join me in this commitment, even if he is already doing so.
I believe a world full of men and women committed to their own inner standards will revolutionize the world — from the inside out. This is what I stand for, and this is what I believe in. I just happen to coach men and take them on adventure trips of a lifetime as my way of expressing and giving back to the world.
May you live aligned with your own inner standards for 2012.
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Audio Interview – An interview with Jason Westlake by coach Stephen McGhee
Men’s Adventure Group
The Men’s Adventure Group to Manu Park is a six-month intensive coaching program for 7 men willing to venture to a place in the world and a place within themselves that they have never before explored. This group will end with YOU exploring one of the most remote places in the world and coming literally face to face with a wild JAGUAR.
Imagine being DAYS away from any form of civilization. You are continuously bombarded with a barrage of sounds from the jungle day and night. You are seeing animals in the WILD that very few humans ever get to see. You are where few men have ever been in our modern world. You are exploring a place that is the exact same as it was 10,000 years ago. You are on a ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME ADVENTURE.
This project will push you to the edge of anywhere spiritually, mentally or geographically that you have been in your life. You will have to access courage and strength that you have never needed before. You will be committing to a project that you have never before accomplished or attempted to do.
This journey is NOT for the faint of heart. This adventure will push your edge and test your mental, emotional and physical boundaries. This adventure will support you in living the life you were born to live.
This adventure MAY be for you if you meet the following criteria:
-You are committed to living from the ‘still small voice’ inside you instead of any other story, identity or distraction.
-You have a project or a stated outcome you are working on or will begin working on that is born out of what you LOVE to do.
-Your project is something you’ve never done before and is beyond what you believe is possible for yourself. There is a GAP between where you are right now and what you want to create.
-You are COMMITTED to accomplishing your project or outcome.
-You have a track record of taking action and are committed to the same with your project.
-You have had some amount of professional success or are on the verge of doing so.
-You love adventure traveling and welcome being challenged mentally, emotionally and physically.
-You welcome the support of fellow men and are willing to support and encourage others in the group.
The Men’s Adventure Group will facilitate you in bridging the gap and accomplishing your project or stated outcome. The group will include the following:
-6 months of 1-on-1 coaching
-Monthly group coaching receiving support and being challenged by fellow men in the group. Here you offer your support as well.
-Monthly buddy check-in calls for accountability and support.
-2-week adventure in Peru involving 3 days at Cusco and Machu Picchu followed by an 11-day remote adventure in Manu Park in a remote part of the Amazon Jungle.
Manu Park
-Manu Park has some of the HIGHEST BIODIVERSITY of species in the world.
-Manu boasts over 1,000 species of birds and hundreds of species of mammals, reptiles, amphibians and more.
-The majority of the species in Manu have yet to be discovered.
-Manu is one of the most remote places in the world and is largely the same as it was 10,000 years ago.
For the Amazon Adventure trip, you will be in the Amazon jungle for eleven days and Machu Picchu and Cusco for three more. You will be in a bungalow for the first few days, but the majority of the time will be spent camping in the midst of the jungle while covering nearly 100 miles of ground by land and water.
-You will be led around by the Harakmbut natives who live in the jungle.
-You will be building your own rafts that you will use for six days of the journey, with the help of the natives.
-You will visit an oxbow lake and view a family of rare river otters.
-You will see thousands of all colors of macaws and parrots gathered together in one spot for their daily morning clay lick for essential minerals.
-There will be an abundance of opportunity to view wildlife with possibilities to view the following animals and many more: Andean Cock of the Rock, Toucan, Quetzal, Tanager, Motmot, Woolly Monkeys, Brown Capuchin Monkeys, Tayra, Agouti, Southern Tamandua, South American Coati, Night Monkey, rare Spectacled Bear, Jaguar, Ocelot, Puma, Weasel, Otter and a large family of rodents and bats.
You will also have the chance to see the famous Machu Picchu and the city of Cusco before descending into the jungle for 11 days. For more information on the jungle adventure, please visit Peru Discovery for the specific itinerary.
This trip will be about a lot more than exploring and seeing wildlife. This adventure will remove you from the busyness of your life and bring you in union with what matters most to you. You will be facing your most primal fears on this trip. After this trip, you will have experienced in your body that you can survive anything, face anything and conquer whatever lies in your path.
You will also have all of the distractions and background noise cleared out of your life for two full weeks. There will be no noise from civilization and nothing to keep you from connecting with that still small voice inside of you.
From the moment you register, you will begin preparing for the trip. There will be required readings. You must learn about the environment you are entering into. You will be pushing your edge and facing your fears from the moment you register up until the end of the trip. You will be conquering your deepest emotional, mental and physical fears. You will practice listening to the still voice inside of you. You will practice taking courage and doing what it is you were born to do on this earth. You will be supported by a group of brothers who are conquering their fears at the same time and breaking out of their own boxes.
To apply to the group, please contact me. I will send you a Questionnaire to fill out. We will then have a discussion to determine whether or not you will be a fit for the group. I will give you further details about the individual and group coaching as well as the Amazon adventure.
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